How to make a sock

How to make a sock in 8,251(ish) easy steps
by Rita

1) Buy sock yarn.
2) Vastly overestimate your knitting abilities and the speed with which you will finish previous projects. Carry sock yarn all over three continents (I do not exaggerate).
3) Finally cast on (on the train from Valencia to Barcelona while listening to Harry and the Potters, which for some reason I remember very clearly. Funny, actually because it was SO LONG AGO). Decide to do a picot edge.
4) Instead of a using a provisional cast-on and then unzipping it, attempt to pick up your already cast-on stitches. With sock yarn and tiny needles. On a moving train.
5) Develop a raging headache
6) Make a bizarre twisted Mobius-looking picot edge
7) Decide you can't face doing it again. Charge ahead bravely.
8) Knit the leg on a plane over the Atlantic
9) Upon landing and unpacking, shove the sock in progress in a corner somewhere.
10) Ignore for three months
11) Dig out sock, examine.
12) Decide cannot take any more of knitting leg. These will be short socks.
13) Knit 3/4 of heel flap.
14) Get distracted by something (school? Band? Pretty new yarn? Who knows)
15) Ignore sock for five more months
16) In an effort to avoid studying for finals, dig out sock, finish heel flap, turn heel
17) Knit sporadically for a month or so
18) Finally, finally finish toe while spending four hours on a plane that's stuck on the tarmac, while listening attentively to the scintillating (rather one-sided) conversation of seatmate (age 6).
19) Decide twisted picot cast-on is just too ugly for words. Also, foot-amputatingly tight.
20) Attempt to rip out picot edge
21) Ripping is harder than it looks. I have to unpick each and every godforsaken little stitch.
22) Oh god, my neck is killing me.
23) What's happening to my eyes? Is it normal to need bifocals at age 20?
24) Screw it. Where are the scissors?
25) Yep, short socks.
26) Finally get rid of the remnants of the doomed picot edge. Decide to knit a short little 1x1 rip instead.
27) Knit ribbing.
28) Ignore sock for three more weeks (seriously, this is pathetic)
29) FINALLY work up the energy to look up a sewn bind-off and finish sock.
30) Eleven months after cast-on...



I made a sock! Now, do you think by the time I finish the second one my grandchildren will want to wear them?

Lorna's Laces Shepherd Sock, colorway "Tuscany," approx. 3/4 of a skein for one sock.
Needles: I forget. Wooden DPNs, size 1.
Pattern: Standard flap-heel sock recipe; originally with picot edge, but, well...

If I am completely honest I am not entirely thrilled with this sock. I used 72 stitches on size 1 needles, but it's still pretty loose around the ankle and foot. Next time I might try 68, or even 64. And would you look at the POOLING! I hear Lorna's Laces is pretty bad for that, actually--although a different stitch count might help. Except oh wait, I have to make another (identical) sock to make this thing called a PAIR. Drat. On the other hand, I do like the stretchy sewn bind-off!